I know that I just wrote a new post a few
days ago, but I wanted to share what God is teaching me.
Through the struggles of being funded for
this fall, I have thought about so many things. I have been at points of
complete peace, trusting God will provide, and then at points of complete
disbelief, wondering how it is all going to work out. I have teetered on the
disbelief side more so than I think I would like to admit. But just because I
don't believe, doesn't mean that God isn't faithful. He is in His very nature faithful--to be unfaithful
would deny who He essentially is,
and He simply doesn't do that. Sometimes I
fail to acknowledge that faithfulness.
It is definitely easier to see what I lack
instead of what I have been blessed with.
But oh how sweet is the Lord to be patient
with His children. He loves us. "He is not slow in keeping His promise, as
some understand slowness. He is long-suffering in order that none would perish,
but ALL may come to repentance."
(2 Peter 3:9)
In my shameful moments of disbelief, a
million things have run through my mind. "What if I don't get to go this
fall?" "Maybe I will just wait a year, save all my money, and then be
able to go." etc, etc, etc. Basically looking at my situation as impossible
for the LIVING God and trying to make ends meet in my own power. But Praise God
for His sweet correction. He reminds me of His promises. He shows me glimpses
of His faithfulness, in small and big things. And that all leads to praise and
glory of His name--which is the reason we are to live.
So now, I am in a season of thankfulness.
Rejoicing in this suffering. I wrote this before, but it seems I still need to
be reminded--That when we are in these intense seasons of suffering, however
suffering may manifest itself in our lives, that God very literally gives us
Himself. He gently says that we can't do it on our own. We have to trust Him.
He grows us in these times. Why? Maybe I am going to need a solid faith
foundation for all the Lord has in store for the future. Very likely is that he
desires and deserves the praises of all people, and will do what it takes to
get that.
I am thankful for this time. I am thankful
that I can't look to my own ability to raise money to go volunteer as a midwife and share
the gospel in the Philippines. I praise God for all those who already have met
their goal and can sit with assurance that the money is there. But I even more
praise God for His faithfulness in showing me that this call has NOTHING to do
with me. I can't go on my own accord. He will provide, for His namesake. He
will "Enlarge the place of my tent, stretch my tent curtains wide;
lengthen my cords, strengthen my stakes." (Isaiah 54: 2) He will make me
rely on Him for everything. And for that, I am so grateful. Just lets me know
that this endeavor has God written all over it.
And in the end, I just want to
be where He is.
"I am STILL confident of this: That I
will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."
and now I am to "Wait for the Lord. Be
strong. Take heart. And wait for the Lord." (Psalm 27:13-14)
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all the
encouragement and prayers. I said it in my last post, but the prayers of God's
people are being honored, and He is moving mightily. I ask you to continue
praying for His Kingdom come and will to be done.
Love
you guys!
--Brittany
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