Midwife. The word
literally means 'with woman'
I know I have written
this several times in my posts. It is a pretty simple thing to understand at
face value. But once that title is seemingly snatched away, when the privilege
of being ‘with woman’ is not longer an option, a far deeper meaning surfaces. You
begin to realize just how ‘with woman’ you really were.
I
learned this full well this past week
I have this patient
named Jen. She is a 15-year-old girl from one of the clinic’s outreach areas
where I volunteer once or twice a month. I did one of her early prenatals back
at the beginning of this year and decided to take her a continuity patient of
mine. I was to handle all of her prenatal care and be the one to manage her
labor and delivery at our clinic. She had some complications prenatally so from
then on out, I began to see her every two weeks, monitoring the growth of her
baby and building a relationship with her. We became close and were frequent
‘text-mates’ as she had a lot of questions and wanted someone to guide her.
I began praying for
her upcoming birth. We couldn’t quite figure out her estimated date of delivery
as her dates seemed to be mismatched with our clinical findings. When she
finally was able to collect money for an ultrasound, it turned out not to be of
much help. With an unsure due date and my upcoming break for month of June, I was
sure that she would end up delivering while I was gone.
Then, I got a text at 2:30am on May 28th that she was
hurting and in labor. She continued to say that she was heading to the clinic,
so I woke up and got ready. Several things happened very quickly at the clinic
as I was awaiting their call. Because her chart showed that her dates were
early for delivery, the supervising midwife made the decision to transport her
right away to the hospital. I had feared that would be the case, but given the
same circumstances, I would have done the same. Jen texted me that she was
being referred, and then the call came from the clinic that she was indeed
already at the hospital. I was so crushed. All the prenatals, all the time
spent trying to prevent a transport to the hospital, all the efforts to prepare
her for a birth at our clinic—all of it seemed to be for nothing.
I
was really upset. I sat on my desk at home, 4 o’clock in the morning, crying.
My patient continued to text me from the hospital as she waited to be taken to
the delivery room. I was so discouraged and defeated. A midwife is with woman.
And I couldn’t be with Jen. I had advocated, I had fought for her, but it
didn’t turn out like we wanted.
The
beauty of the situation is that she gave birth to a very healthy, beautiful
baby boy at the hospital—no complications. I went to visit the pair the next
day. It was wonderful to see them. In the end, I just wanted them to be
healthy. And that indeed they were.
I’m
learning more and more and more that it isn’t about me being the one to deliver
a baby, or be close to a woman, or me doing anything at all. Every effort of
mine is comparable to filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6), and if I do not abide in the
Lord, I can do nothing. (John 15)
I
have continued to talk daily with Jen, and am excited to continue being her
friend, to continue loving her, and to continue to share the incomparable love
of Christ with her. She has a special place in my heart. And God has used our
unique relationship to show me so much already.
Continue
to pray for Jen, her family, and her baby boy Prince Yusop.
Pray
for salvation, as they are unbelievers.
Pray
that God may be glorified through our sweet relationship.
Pray
that I would die to self and allow God to work through me.
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